The Homeschool Mom’s Holiday Survival Guide

Photo Credit.

I know yesterday was Cyber Monday, but more importantly it was the first Monday after a holiday and that’s a real test in a homeschool. Sometimes I have skipped taking days off (we did our lessons on Labor day!) because I feel like with younger children it’s easier to keep routine than break it and repair it.

We took 3 days off of our lessons last week for Thanksgiving, and I felt the effects of the lack of routine.

Holidays and homeschool. All the people, places, meals, and traditions on top of lesson plans, chores, and daily routines. It can all feel like too much; recovery from one party can rob days of productivity. Kids of all ages sense that a lot is going on and find a hundred other things to busy themselves with in order to appear unable to sit down to do their lessons as usual.

Pushing everyone in order to do it all never ends with Happy Holidays, but throwing in the towel and letting the lesson plan pause until January isn’t the answer either. (I know, when January rolls around no one wants to “do school.”)

Photo Credit.

So this December, I’m going to set up a guide to help border my time, decisions, and essential routines so that I don’t fall for the ever illusive extended-holiday-laziness-isn’t-going-to-hurt-anyone temptation.

Simplify Stuff. It’s time to remove all the clutter (again). Toys, decorations, clothes that no longer fit, and piles of books all need to be paired down. Taking time to work on one room a day for just a few days pre-party will relieve the overwhelm of all the holiday things that come home with kids every time they go to a party or event.

Simplify Food. Parties always have great food, so don’t feel like your weekly menu has to be amazing. Eat simply, fresh salads and staples from the pantry will be perfect for this season. If you’re taking a dish to a party, then make something you already know. Don’t take on a new recipe an hour before you’re supposed to arrive at a loved one’s house. Sometimes the most simple dish is the favorite. Don’t put added pressure on yourself to make flashy food.

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Consider the Noon Hours. Margin time seems to get squeezed out of my schedule during holiday and busy seasons, but I can’t function well as an introvert without the alone time in the morning and evenings. Attending all the events with family and friends usually happens in the evenings and goes well past everyone’s bedtimes, which means we normally want to sleep in – translation: no margin. So, I put the margin back in to the middle of the day. We sort of have an after lunch reset (also known as a Quiet Time). I need the calm and they need me to be calm too.

The Math of Cancelling. Our regular routine includes going to different places throughout the week. We have plans that are ongoing. But during this holiday season, I know that for every 2 special events we need to cancel 1 regular event. We all have limits on how much we can handle being on-the-go and my family tends to have tighter limits (at least I do). So I’m really careful to not pretend that we are going to keep doing all-the-things as usual, and my kids generally understand.

Plan Your Party First. Get your individual family’s traditions scheduled on your calendar first. Time at home with your people is so special and important that everything else can fit in around it – not the other way around. Stick to 1 or 2 traditions that make your family unique and enjoy it. Count the time with extended family as a gift and enjoy that too.

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Time Budget Backwards. Everyone wants to arrive at a party on time without any hassle (and without yelling – here’s the post on how I do that). Before budgeting time backwards, I would set an arbitrary time to start getting ready, a time to leave, and hope that everything would get done in between those two times. But now I start at the arrival time and work my way in time chunks backwards in order to include everything that needs to be done and the time I end on is my “start time.”

For example, we have a party scheduled to start at 6pm and it’s an hour drive to get there. Here’s how I plan backwards:

1. Set an arrival time for 5:45pm
2. Leave at 4:45pm
3. Get everyone into the vehicle by 4:40pm
4. Find everyone’s coats, shoes, and toys for the ride at 4:30pm
5. Last call for using the bathroom for everyone at 4:20pm
6. Load all extra items in the vehicle – presents, cards, desserts, etc. – 4:10pm
7. Get everyone bathed and dressed 3:10pm
8. Set out clothes and locate all shoes and accessories needed 3:00pm

If there is anything else that I know I will need to do – like prepare the dessert – then I will have to add that in as well. But going through the progression backwards helps me to see exactly what time I need to begin to prepare instead of just guessing that we should begin around 4:30pm and hoping that I can cram in all that we need to do.

Education in an Hour. At The Read Aloud Revival, Sarah McKenzie has created (with some expert help) an amazing resource called “Education in an Hour” which is a small, power packed part of the membership site for revivalists. If the holiday part of this season isn’t stressful to you but the education part is, then I highly recommend sampling the membership resources here to get the inspiration, support, and practical advice from the experts that we all need on an ongoing basis as home educators. (This also makes a great gift for another homeschooling mama you may know!)

Advent* began on Sunday too, so I’ve been thinking a lot about my time, personal routines, and the things I want to focus on for the rest of 2015. I won’t be blogging as usual until the end of the month in order to set my mind on the projects that I had hoped to present to all of you for the New Year. I look forward to sharing my usual “Things Learned” post at the end of December, and I will continue to connect in shorter snippets on my Facebook page.

Photo Credit.

My prayer for all of us this time of year is to focus on the first things. Don’t push through for the sake of keeping up, but don’t let go of all that is best simply because there’s too much good to keep track of. Let’s do more than survive this season as homeschool moms, let’s thrive.

Merry Christmas!

*For Advent this year we are reading Tabitha’s Travels (get it on Kindle and start it today – you’ll only be 2 days behind). This is a continuation of the story by the same author as last year’s Advent story: Jotham’s Journey (you can read my review of Jotham’s Journey here). This devotional is 90% story and 10% devotional but don’t let that ratio fool you. The reflective opportunities within the story are well worth the read. If you know a thrilling-story-loving kid, then this is the devotional for them. 

Affiliate links used in this post! Thanks for your support.

Bullet Journal Update: Videos and Tips

Quick – without looking – answer this question: where is your planner? Second question: what was the last thing you wrote in it?

Life is a lot of work. Planning well for living a life that actually accomplishes priorities, goals, dreams, and steadily moves in a disciplined direction can feel like a joke when the hard work of life clouds out the reasons why we want to try for such a planned life in the first place.

May I suggest that we make planning too difficult and that’s the reason we want to give up after 2-3 months of trying something new? Also, planning is made too difficult when I try to force my brain into someone else’s method. I bet it made perfect sense to the creator of Mead to put all the notes pages at the back of the calendar, but I need a random smattering of notes pages all throughout my calendar. Some weeks I need more blank space than others.

That’s why the Bullet Journal is the system has worked for me the longest. I have had the most success with recording, planning, goal setting and tracking, and journaling than I have ever had before in my life combined.

Since, I wrote all about the Bullet Journal system before, I won’t go into all the reasons why I enjoy it. (You can read my why here.) But I thought I would bring it up again to update you on what’s working, how I get myself to keep journaling (even on days when I’m sick of it), and what I don’t do.

Also, I am still using the Bullet Journals for my kids’ lessons which serves as our home school record. So, technically I keep 3 Bullet Journals going. It can feel like a lot of writing on some days, but it’s totally worth it (compared to what I’ve done in the past) and here are all the reasons why:

The Updates

Week-at-a-Glance. The most important routine I’ve established with using my Bullet Journal is to write out my weekly goals and home school plans on Sunday. Figuring out my Week-at-a-Glance is relaxing for me. On the few weeks where I didn’t get around to writing out our week or my goals, I would quickly figure things out Monday morning – only to feel rushed and behind – and the whole week would feel off. The takeaway: Find a day and time that works for you to plan and write out your Week-at-a-Glance, include your meal plans and other activities. Write out your priorities and then make the times and activities specific.

Threading and Washi tape have helped me more than the index (see first picture to see the washi tape tags). I still struggle to fill in the index daily, but I do still use it and keep it up. Threading is when you continue a topic several pages later in your journal and write the corresponding page numbers at the bottom of the page for reference to your other thoughts. Washi tape helps me visually to see the categories of pages from a glance. For example, when I want to flip through my journal to find the homeschool page where I wrote out all the books included in our curriculum, I just flip through the pages with the green tape. I can skip over so many other pages and find the one I want a whole lot faster because it is flagged by color-coded tape.

The Index = Attendance and Home School Records. In my kids’ Bullet Journals, I knew that the lessons assigned and completed within the journal served as our home school record, but I just discovered (by filling in almost 2 months worth of dates in the index) that it also serves as our attendance. I hadn’t paid much attention to the index for them, I was focused on writing in their assignments everyday, but now I take time to jot the date in the index.

Change it up. Don’t chain yourself to one way of planning out your day. Take the time to record what you do. (See my practical planning videos for tips on using a time budget to get started with planning. I’ll be sharing these on Facebook, so visit my page. If these are helpful, let me know and I’ll record more.) For us, we were able to do morning lessons for the first 2 and a half months of school. Lately, we have had to do our group lessons while my youngest is napping. It took me a good week to get into a new comfort zone that this change was for the better, and the first few days of the new routine left me feeling like a failure – only because my blocks of time were rearranged. Be okay rearranging. Use a time budget to see where to move things.

Write honestly. I’ve learned that on days when I just simply don’t want to go through the discipline of writing goals, plans, or lessons out a-g-a-i-n I need to own the feelings and move on. It doesn’t take that long to physically write out what I need to do, and when I’ve done it I’m always thankful I did. When I have allowed myself to skip it, I’ve regretted it every time. Sometimes I simply can’t plan. My mind is in such a tangled place that I can’t even list a simple page of to-dos. So, I do one of three things: I write a journal entry and try to work out the kinks in my brain, I write a bare bones list of only the essentials that have to be done that day, or I don’t write anything and I just use the week at a glance page for reference. I know if I go more than 2 days without writing in my Bullet Journal then I start to veer off track and I lose grasp of my goals for the week. This is motivation for me to keep trying to write even if I don’t feel like it.

Know your game-changer. At what point in the day do your plans need to be done and you need to settle down? I discovered through planning our home school lessons, house chores, and outside activities that my game-changer is dinner time. I need to be able to prep dinner without interacting with my kids. I crave calm in the kitchen, and for me that means that I need to wash all the dirty dishes and wipe down all the counters before I even begin making the next meal. Because this is such a big deal to me – by this I mean it has such a great effect on my attitude – meal planning is a big deal, I do this 2 times per month and I plan for the whole month, and then each day I begin thinking about dinner at breakfast. Then I start my dinner prep as early in the afternoon as possible. I use lower temperatures to slow cook and I use the “warm” setting on my oven to keep everything ready for when we actually sit down to eat. As I’m cooking, I also wash my prep dishes as soon as I’m finished with them because I tend to get really discouraged if there’s a mountain to wash after dinner. So, in my Bullet Journal, a lot of attention is given to dinner. Equal to the attention given to home school plans because for me to feel successful in our day both the lessons and dinner must be complete.

Common questions:

Isn’t it redundant to write out the lesson plans every day? Yes, it sure is. And sometimes it’s irritating that it takes a chunk of my evening to do it, but again the repetition helps me stay focused on being accountable to doing the lessons the next day. I took the time to plan it all out, write in all down, and now all I have to do is direct the kids to their Bullet Journals and half the battle of the home school routine is over.

Check out this bonus video on how I layered my children’s lessons to build momentum in our school year. I think layering has been the #1 most helpful thing for building their attention span, increasing their discipline, and ensuring our lesson success. Read more about layering lessons here.

Do you ever wish you had bought a fancy planner? Nope. I waffled for a good two weeks on this one. I really was tempted by a super nice (Ultimate) homeschool planner because it had so many components to it that brought in the whole philosophy of why homeschool. It pushed the why throughout the layout so that I would be constantly reminded that this isn’t just about following an Instructor’s Guide and finishing on time, this is about nourishing a child as a whole person one day at a time. (Obviously, I still recommend it, and I think it’s great.) For me though, I had to own that I’m way too scatter brained to follow someone else’s layout.

What else is there to know about the Bullet Journal? Nothing and everything. You probably know enough to get started and you definitely will learn and change things as you gather more tips. Just try it. Even if you simply start using an index in your current journal, you’ll be glad you did when the notes you took are easier to find.

Other Keys to Planning Success Videos (Coming soon to my Facebook Page):

• Time Budget: Learn to Record Before You Plan
• Using a Time Budget to See Goals
• 3 Things I Learned from Completing a Time Budget

When it comes to making and keeping plans, I feel like often times it’s the good things that get in the way. If your current tools aren’t working, then put them away and try a blank 17 cent notebook and pen for a week.

Also here’s a sneak peek at an eGuide I’m working on detailing how to set up and use a Bullet Journal for home school plans and records. If you’re reading this post and feeling lost, then this eGuide will be for you. It goes through in detail the steps to set up a Bullet Journal and then describes what each method in the system is useful for so that you can determine how to customize the system to best suit your style.

Have you heard about the Official Bullet Journal put out by Leuchtturm? It’s amazing (thanks friend) and I highly recommend it. One thing I forgot to point out in this video, is that it has 3 ribbon bookmarks! One for my Month-at-a-Glance, one for my Goals and Week-at-a-Glance, and one for my current day – it’s genius and so helpful.

My previous posts on Bullet Journaling:

• Why Bullet Journal
• How I set up my Bullet Journal
• Using a Bullet Journal for Homeschool Plans
• Setting up Bullet Journals for Kids as Homeschool Records

Thanks for reading this super long post! If you've found it helpful, bookmark or share it for future reference. There are affiliate links in this post, because that's just good business - they are all marked by underlining. If you want to know more about affiliate links read my disclosure. As always, be sure to subscribe for more free content and to download your free guide to writing your own Parenting Purpose Statement.

How I get out the house on time (without yelling).

I have two basic goals when it comes to getting out of the house with kids in tow:

1. Arrive to the appointment on time
2. Be kind

Often times, I have compromised #2 in order to accomplish #1. But when I yell at my kids to speed them up, something happens every time: they slow down even more.

I’ve learned over the years of parenting that it’s just better for my constitution to expect complications and give everything double the amount of time it should take. After all these little people are little. They simply cannot operate at an adult speed and they certainly can’t plan ahead. Their disposition to be magnetized by distraction is built into the fiber of their being. This is what makes them curious and playful. It’s what brings them joy and laughter.

Their slowness is a goodness.

So I set out to make peace with them and with being on time. And these steps have helped me and brought more joy to our mornings than I ever thought possible.

1. Plan ahead. I know what appointments I have for the next day. Even when my calendar is completely open: I make it a point to know what time I have and own that time.
2. Budget time. I start by figuring out how I spend an hour. Then I timed myself doing my daily tasks to see how long it actually takes to empty the dishwasher, etc. For me, it takes 7 minutes to apply my make-up from start to finish. This little detail helps me know how to order the steps in my morning to accomplish multiple things simultaneously.
3. Direct kids with one command at a time. I can’t give two-part instructions. This is huge; it’s the most important step to this process. For example, I do not say “bring your books upstairs, put them back on the shelf, go in your room and get changed, and then come in the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face.” Instead I:
   • Start with “bring your books upstairs now, please. You have 3 minutes.”
   • Keep them accountable for that one thing. Correcting and guiding them to obey one simple task at a time. This needs to be done with great patience for the slow and distracted kids.
4. Set a timer for everything. Every single task. Don’t skip this step. I need the beep, they need the beep. After hearing the beep for another 2 minute task, I start to feel the passing of 2 minutes without the beep. This is true for them too. I used to get lost in my own routine- I’d forget how long I had been staring into my closet for what to wear. Now I give myself 2 minutes and if it isn’t picked by then I have to move on and come back. 
5. Give them a clear plan for when we need to arrive. 
   • This is an opportunity to teach them to tell time. We started them young by using a digital clock and only highlighting the hour.
   • Tell them how long it will take to travel to our destination.
   • Have a countdown to when we need to leave to arrive on time with the amount of time necessary in between.
6. Don’t yell. Sounds easier said than done, I know. But I knew I needed to change this habit first, and train them second. Their behavior will follow.
   • Some kids get slower when yelled at because of their fight or flight instinct. They can’t learn or listen when their brain has shut down because of fear.
   • I’ve mentally prepared to give myself a “time out” when frustrated and tempted to yell. Sometimes my time out is closing my eyes, and I don’t speak until I can do so calmly.
7. I’m not aiming for perfection. I don’t want to be rigid and uptight. My goal is excellence so I need to take my circumstances into context.
8. Don’t check my phone. Rarely have I actually missed a texted that would have changed my plans if I had read it before leaving the house. When my phone is on silent and I don’t pick it up while getting ready I save myself from becoming disoriented.

I’ve learned that living with little people is for them but not about them. This process of discipline and growth has been about changing my habits. Whether I will work hard and own my goals or not. No one will help me get out of the house on time for me. It isn’t convenient. I feel like everyday I am tested too much, but we have had such consistent success when I’ve followed these steps and rested in knowing I’ve done my best.

When we arrive smiling, I look at their faces and all the work has been worth it.

For more help in managing your time well, check out this course called “Make Over Your Mornings” by Crystal Paine. Her course can help you live with more peace and purpose.

For more encouragement from The Home Learner, click here.

Why saying “5 more minutes” makes me cringe.

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This probably has never happened to you.

But I used to waste my children’s time and confuse them terribly.

And if I’m not careful, I could still do it everyday.

In the early morning hours, my daughter is content to write or draw while my sons play with Legos or toss a ball around. In these beautiful hours that seem to rush toward noon, every chore and household task seems possible and within reach. Before the kids wake up each day, I usually set up a framework for our day which includes chores and tasks but more importantly our school time. Since we are indeed a homeschooling family, it seems best to manage our time to include this top priority.

So after the snuggles and tummies have been satisfied, we all move into our routine.

And this is when the “5 more minutes” monster would gobble up all my good intentions.

It’s 8:55am. 5 more minutes to 9 o’clock. It seems right to assert that we should start our formal learning at the hour. So calling out “5 more minutes” in order to prepare my littles for the transition seemed right and fair.

But what was I supposed to do in those 5 minutes? How would I best transition from this to that?

Sadly, therein lies the problem. I would think I can quickly change the laundry or I’ll just read one blog post or I really should bathe and change before starting school or I have to email her back before it gets too late. And before I know it, it’s 9:10am and I’m seriously lost in the task I fooled myself into thinking would only cost “5 minutes” but has turned into 15 or more.

There are days where this doesn’t bother my kids at all. They listen to my warnings about time and transitions and play patiently. But then there are other days when I get the 5 minutes right, and the call to transition comes as a shock and they revolt against it. Battling me for their beloved playtime freedom all the way into lunch. Like somehow I robbed them of their identity and they plan to bear a grudge forever.

And it hurts me when they react this way. I don’t want to be the bad guy. I know I deserve their angst because of how I have confused them to think that “5 minutes” doesn’t mean 5 actual minutes.

It isn’t fair that I am loose and spontaneous one day and strict and demanding the next.

There had to be a better way. I was languishing under the broken promises and failures on my end to keep my word.

And I found it: I started setting the kitchen timer.

This worked perfectly in the home. #1 because it kept me accountable. I needed the “stop now” beep to keep me on task. And #2 the auditory cue for the kids taught them that this whole time thing isn’t arbitrary. Together we honored the beep, and stopped what we were doing. We moved into the next activity together as a team. It was wonderfully supportive of my authority to be able to keep order and manage time well.

But what about at a playdate or library?

Well, I started wearing a watch and using it’s timer to manage the same way. It works great. I have to keep myself accountable – I’m the toughest one to control – and we are all happier when we follow through.

So instead of saying “5 more minutes” and not keeping track of when that will actually be, I’m careful and creative. My kids can feel time so much better now, which means they are much less confused and much more able to keep track of time for themselves. (Plus we gave both of our older kids watches so they are able to learn and apply time well. This also serves as accountability to me too – my son will call me out on the timing of the day if I miss transition.)

So whenever I hear another mother call out “5 more minutes” and then 10 minutes pass, I cringe.

Are you that mom? Does it drive you crazy? 

Here are my 7 quick tips to transform your timing and transitions:

• Start using a timer first for yourself to feel time. How long does it really take you to get ready in the morning? Knowing how many actual minutes you need for your personal tasks will help you better manage your time. And better management of your time will allow for better management of your priorities: schooling, cooking, cleaning, etc.
• Begin learning to budget time by hour. Look at the whole day and first break it down by hour. Only allot one activity per hour. This allows for margin.
• Next to your time budget write in your “actual time spent.” These notes will give better insight as to how you spend your time and what needs to change better than any outside advise.
• On days when you need to leave the house, start your time budget from the end and work backwards. By this I mean: know what you need to leave the house, and write that time in your budget. Working backwards to include all the things you need to accomplish, you will end at the beginning = when you need to wake up to make the morning flow smoothly.
• Make it a top priority to keep your word to your kids. If you are in a bad habit, like I was, of vain timing and promises then it’s time to focus your actions first. Hold your tongue. Don’t give a countdown. Just do life with them, transition along side them, and nurture them through the day. You may be surprised at how much more you enjoy being with them when you’re not focused on “timing” everything.
• Tell someone what your routine is. Hearing the words come from your own mouth will be more helpful in discerning what timing needs to stay and what needs to change.
• Do the work to change for yourself. Don’t get caught up in other family’s timing or transitions. Be true to your kids first.

What would your timing tips be? Share them with me in the comments below! I’d love to learn from you too.